Pregnancy

We had an ultrasound done a couple weeks ago to find out what we were having.  They were 90% sure that it was a ..... ?? but the baby was in such an awkward position that they wanted us to come back 2 weeks later to confirm.  That day comes today!  I am curious to know for sure what this baby is.

After discovering in March that I had an ectopic pregnancy, they administered methotrexate, a form of chemotherapy.  I asked the doctor how long we had to wait to get pregnant and he said as soon as we were ready.  However, research online suggested otherwise, at least 3 months.  Failure to wait 3 months could result in babies with a number of different birth defects and problems.  Since that pregnancy had come as a surprise and we weren't in a hurry to get pregnant sooner than this anyway.  But once again, the Lord had other plans in mind for our family and just 7 weeks after getting the methotrexate we were expecting once again.

The emotions I normally experience didn't exist.  They were replaced with fear, worry, and guarded emotions.  I knew immediately that my chances of having another ectopic pregnancy were extremely high and I tried to guard all emotions until the first appointment when I knew for sure whether the baby made it to the uterus or not.  It had.  I was glad, but those guarded feelings and emotions seemed to hold on.

Instead of wondering if it was a boy or a girl, or what names we should consider, I was researching everything that could be wrong because of the chemotherapy injections.  I honestly could care less whether this baby was a boy or a girl, all I wanted was a healthy baby.  A baby that had 2 arms and 2 legs.  A baby that didn't have any health problems.  These are such emotions I have experienced with this baby.  (And yes, I know it is pointless to look- that I will love my baby no matter what, but I still want the best, and can't seem to help myself.)

I have started showing quicker than before this time.  I have an unbelievable appetite, and I am tired.  My mind wants me to get a grip and have control like I did with Tyson's pregnancy.  I ate great, and worked out every day.  I need to reach down deep inside me and find that motivation before my husband starts rolling me places.  I have been more sick this time.  Instead of morning sickness, I am sick in the morning, afternoon, evening, and even in the middle of the night.  The medicine was slow to work for me this time, but has been a major help even if sometimes it only takes the edge off.  I am just grateful that it is getting better each day.  It isn't as intense as it once was, and if it is like my last 2, then I should feel better in a couple weeks.

Porter and Tyson are both sweet and excited about their new baby.  From early on, we asked the kids if they thought it was a boy or a girl.  Porter didn't know, but Tyson insisted it was a girl.  And when we asked what we should name the baby, Tyson always says "sister".  Porter has had a baby toy out for a month now, that he is ready to give to the baby when it comes.  He is especially sweet.  He talks to the baby, gives my tummy kisses, and is very concerned if Tyson or anything gets on top of my tummy because he doesn't want to hurt the baby.  When we walks by me or gets out of the car, he will often pause to rub my tummy real quick before going on his way.  He is older and grasps on to things more.  When he first found out about the baby, he would pray that this baby wouldn't die like the last baby.  Then after watching the movie, "We bought a zoo," he has been worried that his mommy would die after having a baby too.  He is just a sweet little boy.  Jared has to work during this 2nd ultrasound today, so Porter is going to accompany me.  His curiosity and excitement make me want to include him in the special moment.

Will share the news later...